AM to PM

Trin-Trin-Trin……………, aaaaaon, it was 0530 alarm I set yester-night which was just not allowing me to be in peace of my sleeps. I snooze it for 5 minutes, and went once again back to the dreamy world. After 5 minutes, cycle repeated and I unwontedly yawned a bit, got off my bed move straight to my bathroom. I stood in front of the wash basin mirror, looked myself, I pitied over myself, and said to me “Lalit don’t do it today, lets skip tomorrow definitely”. But the person from the mirror was just smiling at me, questioning my dedication, I felt shamed by him, and with the heavy heart brought my hand under the tap. “SHOCK” I felt and I uttered all of a sudden the coldness of water had just wiped off the traces of any sleepiness I was undergoing just a few minutes back. By then, I made myself in the dilemma of hanging in the air, neither could I bring my hands under the tap for the coldness of water, nor could I go back to my bed. I courageously took the toothpaste, turned on the geyser let the water warm up for me and when finished with the brush I waited there for the water to get warm enough to gulp it into my mouth. That’s how the teeth have been taken care off. Soon after, I took off my clothes and slip under the shower. The warm water, falling on my head was just it need, and through my soul I wanted to be there under it throughout the day. But I have to move on, move on to what I woke for. I put on the fresh track suit, took my bag and came out of the home. It was 0600 hrs, the darkness of the dawn was still there, the stars were still visible. I cursed myself, what a life, “I am running to earn my meal in the night itself”. By the time, since I had reached to my parking, I kicked my bike, geared up, and sped to the most I can. Till the point I was riding under shed, it was OK, but soon I hit the road, I came to know how cold even the summer is in the early morning hours. Hands were trembling to grip the throttle, legs were shaking, breaths soaring high, the cold breeze was just entering into me from anywhere it could. I was feeling the distance and the time passing by, the coldness is just which I can’t ignore.
Finally, I reached to what I had started for, the playground of a school, called Sevasadan Public school, I took off my jacket, started of the very first few steps of jogging, now I was getting accustomed to the environment around track. With each step I was feeling more warmth, and the more brightness caused by the rising sun. After 10 rounds of circling around the track, and a few warming stretches and exercises, the real drama started. Actually I woke up for a boxing practice match.
I had to bandage my both the palms, wrists and fingers tightly enough so that no muscle wear and tear can happen in my arms. Later I put on the Boxing globs, to get ready for a round of fight. A fight with someone whom I a few moments back was thinking as of my friend. A fight with the fear within me of getting hurt. A unique way to start the day – blows on the nose, hits on the temple, hooks on the chin, and pain in the chest. I also had a fair chances of hitting my opponent, and the every shot I hit, I always took the full power behind it. I was just enjoying the moment, no matter how much pain I was getting in reward, but there was full joy. I was not able to think anything, but to hit my friend who was my enemy for the time being. After all, it is the friend or lovable who only can become the figure of hate or enmity; nobody hates a stranger.
By the way, I got several of the hits, and consequences-I got 2-3 scratches around my right eye. The scratches were itching, but what could I do I had to move to my office with the bruises shining on my face. To be continued….

Determination under Stress

These days I’m in a stress of avoiding my temptation of doing things which I couldn’t think of in the past. The time is tough, but will pass. I’m looking for changes, I change my work timings, I change my wake up timings. I’m becoming sporty. I’m living a more personal life now. I’m liberated to live my own. I’m now not afraid of taking the blows on my nose. Life’s tough, but is beautiful, a crap from one of my friend. I’ve to change myself whatever be reason. Till date I was following a star, as if it was the way to my destiny, and I’ll get it one day. But then I realized the star which was shining for me, or smiling for me throughout the night doesn’t have the brightness enough to keep up with me in the daylight. I want a 24*7 companion to me, if it is the soil of earth which is giving my legs support to stand, I’ll thank to the earth for holding me and not follow any other deceptive shining figures. Downstream rafting is not a big deal, but the real joy of game is when we raft against the flow. The flow is against me, is it? NO. I would say it is just favoring me to be tougher, more realistic, more adventurous, more passionate, more perseverance, and many more. I’m increasing my limits, and will tend to make it infinity. And while writing this blog, I just realized, I’ve become more of I now, earlier I was we.

These days I’m learning Boxing, unrealistic to believe, but believe me it’s TRUE. It’s the game that makes me live a complete life within the 22 ft x 22 ft ring. Nose blows, ego hurting, being beaten up, guarding self to avoid damage, and looking for the chances to knock out or taking out the punch over the opponent; these are perspectives of living shortest human life, just two minutes, but enough to perspire every emotion of life of being hurt to being proud. Every time I came off the ring, I was hurt, but that gave me more passion to re-enter the arena with the only mindset to hit him more next time.

Life’s an extended version of the Boxing match, the opponent here is the complete world, it’s just me alone one side. But who are you thinking you are with, you are also alone; everybody at his own. Even our own shadow which in tough times of afternoons contracts and tries to hide itself beneath us, tends to expand and run away from us during the pleasant times of mornings and evenings. The shadow too, is our companion only when we are in the brighter side of the life, even our own shadow doesn’t want to live with the person in the darkness. So who are we with in our sorrow side of life, none, but with just the self? So there’s no point for habitual of anyone, you’ll be alone, in your needy times. A one liner I came across recently – “World praises only the rising Sun”. The people will follow me if I live a happy life. It’s joyous or touchy to see the Slumdog Millionaire, but nobody wants to have the misery of the Slums, every one when thinks of themselves they think of just to be Bill Gates, Warren Buffet, Brad Pitt, Ambani or any other successful person. Metaphorically, it is the materialistic happiness you expresses to the world, determines whether the world will follow you or not.  Being sad I can just look for someone to be pity on me, but then it is just the other’s choice to be with me or not. But life follows happy people, even the glow of our own skin tarnishes away when we keep being sad. The world will follow me, only when I’ll be happy. So, I’m keeping the determination to remain happy whatever be the situations, and if the wind anytime blows against me, I’ll take it as an adventure.

The Determination always reside self within; reasoning of the external factors is just being non Determined. The first statement of life I was impressed with, Water doesn’t boil at 99.999 degree Celsius, even the last 0.001 degree is as important as the rest to break Hydrogen bonds between the Water molecules to evaporate it.  So it’s not worth to claim my prize or possession at 99.9% efforts. Only the completed projects are sellable in the market. Though till now I was 100% in my efforts but the perseverance to make it done, was somewhere I was lagging, from now on I’ll chase the dreams till I wake up or if the dream becomes my life. Starters can initiate but only the Finishers can win the Race.